GoldBangle

Monday, January 15, 2007

i'm staying in hostel now.
spent 2 weeks moving n buying stuff just to make the room more cosy
it's ok now :)
got really homesick the first week but i'm enjoying myself now
except maybe for the public toilet part.
hahaha

my mood's been really bad the past week and i've been throwing my tantrums
i'm sorry baby . i think u got a bit frustrated with me hehe
but i'm fine now. i hope i dont get a relapse

i agree with stel .. i suppose we give what we get
and since i've been getting the best of everything from him, i'm treating him better than others
i havent changed. i dont think i have
it seems like i'm spending a lot of time with him, almost to the point of obsession? some may say
but in actual fact, we're just like any other couple
the difference is probably because i used to hv a lot of time and then suddenly i dont have time anymore
well, my ex bf was a workaholic who spent 15 hours a day in his office and the rest of the time sleeping at home, 7 days a week.
we met once every 2 or 3 weeks and if i were lucky, maybe once a week but that's never more than 4 hours at a time.
with that kinda situation, of course i'd hv more time for other things
but honestly, i dont remember anyone having time to accompany me either
so is it wrong when i started making new friends in sch?
know what, thats probably the best choice ever .
coz they're such joys to be around with :)

i value my old friends a whole lot.
because i believe they're still the ones who know you best
knowing all the events that occurred earlier in my life
but when they start talking about making a distant from me just because they feel a bit of resentment towards my current bf, is that fair?
so if i dont like your bf, i dont stay a friend?
i dont even know what exactly piss them off
like, i wasnt entertaining enough on my bday? or that i didn't put much emphasis on them on my bday?
well, it was MY birthday tt day at rouge
the emphasis shouldn't be on you and your feelings, should it?

i haven't changed.
just that, i have many sides of me to adapt to different groups of people
like i'm different when i have coffee with my old friends and when i'm partying in a club. but isnt that normal? i dance n drink n have fun.
you probably havent seen the other sides of me, thus the misconception?
but i'm still the old me.
of course the obvious changes are inevitable.
everybody change
as they grow older, as they become wiser, as they stray away...
nothing is constant

the difference lies in whether or not you can adapt to changes
like a friendship
how can anyone expect his/her friends to stay the same?
sure some characteristics will never change
but totally the same? it's impossible

friends. if you dont really like my friends, there's still no reason to shun me away
hey, i'm not close to your friends either
but does that mean i've to get away fr u as well because u supposedly change with this grp of friends?
if i think that way, then what kind of friend am i?

you know, i still dunno what i did wrong,
but i made efforts.
lower my pride and think of stuff to do together
so i hope that you'll at least see that the friendship if important to me,
even if it's nothing to you.
something that you can push away when u feel like it.
as far as i know, i was there when there were outings n meetings, except that once during my exam coz i had a paper the next day
bdays, catch ups, probs (when you feel like telling me instead of your other friends)... well dont say i dont care because i dont know whats going on in your life.
if you dont tell me, how am i supposed to know?
by checking yr blogs???
sometimes i dont check blogs for months.
then how? you'd think i dont care?
it's not true! just that i dont know whats going on.

sigh.
i dont know what to say anymore
is it even any good being defensive?
whatever it is,
my bf has been nothing but respectful and friendly to all my friends
he bought you and your partner drinks, entertained you at my parties
was friendly and made sure you're ok
took care of you when you were drunk till he nearly got into a fight with the other club patrons

he may not be good enough for you, but his efforts towards my friends are good enough for me
i love you darling :)

sorry if i'm blabbering nonsense
but because you dont seem to want to do any talking about what's bothering you, i'd have to guess myself

# posted by MerY | 1:55 PM |

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